REVIEW::: Big Flats Lager

What did I do to deserve this?

That's the first thought that went through my mind when I took my second swig of this gem.  Spilt Beverage presents Big Flats, a light lager.  All the signs were there.  I should have trusted my instincts.  This one had it written in neon on a billboard (not literally, but it might as well have).

First of all, let me say that this beer is exclusive to Walgreens.  Yes.  Walgreens.  A pharmacy chain store has their own beer.  That's bad sign number one.  Bad sign number two is that they don't even keep this in the cooler.  No, they keep it out in the aisle right next to the 12 packs of soda and premade margarita mixes.  Bad sign number three is that it was $3.  Big Flats is $3 a sixer.  I'm dead serious.  That's three strikes.  Off-brand, poorly stored, and cheap.  So, why did I pick it up?  BECAUSE IT WAS $3.  How can you pass that up?  I knew it was probably going to be bad, but it was just too cheap not to take a shot.  Take this as strike number four, but it uses the word premium twice on the can, like they are trying to convince you.  Trust me, nothing in the world is "premium" with a $3 price tag. 

It also states at the bottom of the can:

"It's the water that makes it."

Well wherever this water came from, remind me never to go there.  I'm sure their showers smell of sulfur and rotten eggs.  The can also reminds you that Big Flats has been around since 1901.  That means that alcoholics, amateur beer reviewers, and college kids have been keeping this treasure in production for over a hundred years.  Let me be the first to sign the petition for this to stop.

I am never one to leave a beer unfinished.  Backwash, warm, it doesn't matter.  I'll finish it.  Not Big Flats.  Nothing good could ever come from finishing this can.  I don't like beer from a can in the first place, but this is a crime.  No buzz could be achieved.  No flavour to be had.  Only misery, sorrow, and -$3. 

So, enough trashing.  Let's get to the specifics.  Remember those commercials a few years ago?  BITTER BEER FACE.  Big Flats is the epitome of bitter beer face.  No hints of any flavour other than the initial bitterness.  I find it also very strange that there doesn't seem to be alot of carbonation, which makes it seem very flat.  Big FLATS.  Get it?  Yeah, I didn't mean to do that.  It's just the way the cards feel.  I can also testify that Big Flats isn't very big at all.  It's pretty weak.

Let's get it over with.  Should I drink Big Flats lager?  I believe it gets a resounding

NO.

Thanks for reading everyone.  I'll try to crank out reviews a little quicker next time.  Now back to watching this Kentucky game.  :(

.....

On second thought, maybe I should finish this Big Flats.

REVIEW::: Carta Blanca lager

EDITOR'S NOTE! - Sorry for the delay on a review.  I knew the second beer to review would be hard to decide on.  I didn't want to go with a classic or an uberpopular beer either.  I think I picked a little outside the box with this one.  Enjoy!


Ah, mexican food.  If you are like me, you think an ice cold beer goes perfect with fajitas.  As long as it isn't too heavy, it's a perfect match.  It's like peanut butter and jelly.....for alcoholics.  Today, I present to you the case of Carta Blanca, a mexican lager.

That is my wife Aaron's elbow in the shot there.  Isn't she pretty?  

If Carta Blanca has one thing going for it, it's that it isn't too heavy.  Nothing would be worse than to try and drink something heavy and then have to miss out on half of your meal because you are so full.  Carta Blanca is a good match here.  Is it a perfect match?  No.

Notice I said "If Carta Blanca has one thing going for it".  One thing.  One out of many things a beer could have.  Great taste?  Not really.  It's quite bland.  Carta Blanca lacks something.  It lacks originality.  It lacks taste.  It lacks balls.

While it is definitely not the worst beer I've ever had (that's the next review I'll be writing), it's one that I will forget in a week that I even ordered.  You know those beers that you will always remember.  The ones you recommend to your friends and coworkers.  The ones you will tell your children about one day (I don't think it would make you a horrible parent).   The ones that legends are born of.  Carta Blanca isn't one of those.  It wouldn't surprise me if it were served anonymously in a hole in the wall bar in Progresso as 99 cent draft.  Trust me, cheap beer isn't bad, but I don't think anyone would ever admit it was stellar either.  Wait.  99 cent drafts in Mexico?  That would have to be converted to pesos.  Somebody do the conversion for me.

Should we drink Carta Blanca?  

NO. 

I would personally go with a Dos Equis or a Modelo wth this pairing.  There are just better options than Carta Blanca.  I hope this review helps you next time you head to Los Frijoles or whatever.  Next time, I will review the worst beer I have ever had.  I have two left in my fridge.  Anyone want to do a second opinion?  I would be glad to part with one.  Please leave a few thoughts in the comments if you have the time.  Thanks for reading!

REVIEW::: Flying Dog Snake Dog IPA

Ah.  So here we are.  The first beer review here at Spilt Beverage.  Let's get a basis of what the reviews are going to consist of.  People experience beers differently.  That's why I'm not going give beers "stars" or "toasts" or whatever quirky rating system could apply here.  Instead, we are going to tell you if you should drink a beer.  A simple YES or NO will suffice.  Don't you think?  Please feel free to leave me your input.

On to the review!

I was lucky enough to receive the Shock and Awe 12 pack from Flying Dog at a Chinese Christmas party over the holidays.  Yes, most of the presents at the Christmas party involved some kind of alcoholic beverage.  Either way, it was a good party and it was a win/win situation.  I have tried Flying Dog's products before and have had mixed opinions.  Sometimes, I feel as if their brews are fantastic.  Other times, I feel that there are better options.  I've also never been too fond of IPA's.  They've always seemed a bit to heavy for my taste or something that I would move on to later in a beer drinking session.  I opened the 12 pack and tried the Pearl Necklace first.  All "that's what she said" jokes aside, I rather enjoyed it, even though the idea of it even touching an oyster originally turned me off.  The Snake Dog was next on my list to try, and I can honestly say that Flying Dog has knocked this one out of the park.

Weighing in at 7.1% ABV, it packs a punch while not completely overwhelming you with hops.  Now when I say a punch, I would compare it to a punch from King Hippo, not Mike Tyson.  (Please tell me I have some Punch-Out fans reading!)  I had no problem finishing this brew.  Other IPA's always seem like a chore to me.  A means to an end.  The least amount of liquid to get the best buzz.  That's not the case here.  I paired the Snake Dog with Chicago-style pizza, and it was a great match.  Lots of flavor and it deserves our seal of approval.

One quick note about the label art. 

I'm a fan of label art.  Other than recommendations from friends and TV commercials, what makes you want to drink a beer?  If you've got a good looking bottle, you are going to win over somebody eventually.  Featuring a quote from the great Hunter S. Thompson straight on the bottle, the label is a work of art.  It's abstract, colorful, and is a great precursor to what's inside.

So let's wrap it up!  Should we drink Flying Dog Snake Dog IPA?

YES.

Well that was fun.  I sincerely hope you enjoyed it and would appreciate any input in the comments.  Also, let us know your thoughts if you have partaken as well.  Thanks for reading, and come back soon!

Greetings from Newfoundland!

Hello all!

Allow me to introduce myself.  My name is Cheyenne.  No, I'm not a woman.  I am a man.

A man who likes beer.
A man who likes beers.
A man who likes a large assortment of beer.
A man who critiques every beer he drinks.

So, that's what this blog is for.  An empty space.  A space where I can write about the beers I like, the beers I hate, and the beers that I drink.  Trust me when I say, I drink a lot of beer.  We aren't talking about a case of Natural Light.  Far from it.  I am one of the few people (other than alcoholics and non-drinkers) that I don't have a favorite beer.  I like Guinness.  I like Sam Adams.  I like Blue Moon.  I can also say that I don't like any of them enough to call them my favorite.  Maybe someday.....

But until then, there's this.

Welcome to Spilt Beverage.  Come back soon.

Scrooge McDuck